Darline Spitulski (former Community Service Officer - Modesto Police Department)

Playing With Fire
Episode 02: Darline Spitulski (former Community Service Officer - Modesto Police Department)

Bryan Spitulski has Darline Spitulski on the show, who was a former Community Service Officer in the Modesto, California Police Department and is also Bryan's wife and co-producer & co-host of the Playing With Fire podcast.

Recorded: 07-22-25
Studio: Just Curious Media

Host:
Bryan Spitulski

#playingwithfirepodcast #justcuriousmedia #firesafety #fireprevention #fireprotection #firehazards #fireawareness #firewatch #firefighting #wildfires #firecodecompliance #firefighters #fireinspections #firedevastation

Transcript

SPEAKER_02: 0:00

Hi, welcome to the Playing With Fire podcast. I'm your host, Brian Spetulski. I'm an ex-firefighter and I'm a current fire investigator, which I've been doing for approximately 25 years. I've got my wife and co-host and producer, Darlene Spetulski, here with us. Darlene, say hello.

SPEAKER_01: 0:20

Hello, everybody.

SPEAKER_02: 0:20

We are both going to talk about the interesting reasons why we got into this podcast. So as a gentleman, I'm gonna let her introduce herself and give some background as to what she has done and why she's interested in co-hosting and producing this podcast. Darlene?

SPEAKER_01: 0:40

Well, when I was seven, I had an incident with my biological father where he put a knife to my throat and law enforcement was called. So, thank God, law enforcement came in and took care of the situation. That was kind of my first...

SPEAKER_02: 1:03

Interaction.

SPEAKER_01: 1:03

Interaction, thank you, with law enforcement. Soon after that, my sister and I got adopted. Went through high school, got married, got divorced, moved out to California, and... Got a job at Gallo where I worked for eight and a half years as the grower accounting supervisor and ended up moving into a new position that wasn't quite the position that they had said it was going to be. So I resigned. Soon after I resigned, I ran into a Modesto police officer who started talking to me about the police department and their volunteer program. So I applied. interviewed and got the job. So started, I was a volunteer. I was doing volunteer part-time. I was working at a grocery store part-time and I was working security at the mall part-time and taking college classes.

SPEAKER_02: 2:04

Impressive.

SPEAKER_01: 2:05

So as soon as I started volunteering, I was hooked. Like, I realized that this is why God put me on this earth. Like, this was the job for me, the environment, the people, the community. So from there, I worked my way up. I became a police assistant working.

SPEAKER_02: 2:30

Like parking enforcement?

SPEAKER_01: 2:32

It was parking enforcement, yes. But then from there, I moved over to AVA, which is where we go out. People complain about vehicles being parked on the street too long or things like that. So I did that. And then for a hot moment, I went into records and realized that being inside was not my forte. I wanted to be out on the streets. So I applied for the community service officer and was passed over a few times and then kept trying and kept trying. I wasn't going to give up until they said yes and finally got hired and just absolutely loved it. Like it was just everything that I knew that I wanted to do. So did that up until 20, started in 2015 as a volunteer. 2017 is when I became a community service officer. And then I had an incident August of 23 and eventually medically retired me December of 24.

SPEAKER_02: 3:46

And during that time, you've had a couple of pretty traumatic incidents happen. during your employment with the Modesto Police Department. But prior to that, you had a life altering event that happened in 2013. You met me.

SPEAKER_00: 4:02

So

SPEAKER_02: 4:02

that was something that you probably should have said that, I understand you black it out, but I'm still here, I'm not going anywhere. So while you were a community service officer, you've touched as a mentor. You've also been involved in, rape cases and things like that. What do those do to you?

SPEAKER_01: 4:24

Coming from the background that I came from, being in and out of foster homes and being sexually abused, and I was raped in high school, working that job was a way for me to give back because I wanted women to know and understand that they can overcome it, that the situation doesn't define you. And you don't have to become the situation. You know, I had a great opportunity on several occasions to talk to, you know, a couple of homeless women that were, you know, I was also in a domestic abusive situation. I wanted to be able to give back and be able to tell these women, you know, I have been where you've been. And I had to live in my car for two weeks. Like, I was homeless for two weeks. So... It meant a lot to me to be able to talk to these women and let them know that it's up to them to make that choice to either go left or right. So it meant a lot to me.

SPEAKER_02: 5:34

And there is a way out. Does the city of Modesto offer programs to... women who are in abusive domestic relationship kind of thing?

SPEAKER_01: 5:42

Yes. The police department offers a lot of outreach programs. They have CHAT, which works with the homeless. They provide them with a lot of programs to get off the streets, to get off drugs. And I'm sure when they come across domestic situations, that's like if someone was to say, you know, I'm in a domestic situation, then I'm chat would have to get on the radio and call for an officer and then the officers have programs and information to give them resources to get out of the situation

SPEAKER_02: 6:14

okay and you did a lot of interaction as a community service officer with females specifically i know you would come back and tell me about certain stories but is that something that you would even though you're medically retired right now is that something you would look at maybe volunteering to do or part-time involvement with certain programs?

SPEAKER_01: 6:37

I don't know. When I moved to Modesto, I started my own homeless outreach program when I was working at Gallo. And there happened to be a gentleman that came and did a seminar. His name was Matthew Immersion, and I'm probably messing up his last name. And he has a program called Every Monday Matters. And it's about doing something good every Monday, whether it's picking up a piece of trash, whether it's giving a homeless person food. Just every Monday for a year, you do one thing nice for somebody or for the community. So I reached out to him. And we actually got a bunch of people to donate socks, stuff for women, shoes, clothes, hair products like combs, toothbrushes. And I sent out an email and got a bunch of people together to come and volunteer. And so one day we just went out and handed all of the, we put them into little Ziploc bags and handed all of those out to volunteers. the homeless. I would also go to the dollar store when it was raining and buy umbrellas and hand them out as well. I kind of got away from it after I left Gallo and being able to work at the police department, you kind of are able to give back as well. Even though you might be on a call taking, if they get arrested, you know, taking their items and you're at least able to bag those items up for them, you know, for safekeeping for them to come back and retrieve them.

SPEAKER_02: 8:30

You know, it's interesting because your kindness was actually a little thorn in our relationship initially because I didn't believe you were real. She actually did all of this. Everything she's saying, she really did. And it took me years to verify and to vet her. But she really is this kind-hearted woman that cares more than most. So that being said, the PTSD part of what you do, which is something that's very dear to me now because of what episode one was, you have some issues, some PTSD things that you have gone into as well. We look forward to you doing some of your own episodes with some female officers that can relate to some of the things that you have done and are going through or have gone through. And having that liberty or that ability to talk about it and hopefully getting that poison out. So I'm excited to hear some of the stuff that you're going to bring out and hopefully help someone down the road. That episode we just did with Chuck was extremely helpful. I know for me and for Chuck, and I've heard nothing but positive feedback on that, how they actually, a lot of people want to know a little bit more about the incident and what was the depth to it. So when you do your interview with people, I'm excited to hear how it goes.

SPEAKER_01: 9:56

Yeah, I've heard nothing but good feedback on that episode as well. And I look forward to speaking about my own PTSD experience as well as, like you said, female police officers. You know, we, as the fire department, guys and gals see a lot and have to deal with a lot. you know, especially the officers. CSOs, community service officers, do everything an officer does except go into an active situation. And

SPEAKER_02: 10:28

arrest.

SPEAKER_01: 10:29

And arrest. So, you know, we have a level... Or you could have a level of PTSD. You know, we work car accidents, Jane Doe cases, which means you don't know who that person is. You're trying to identify who that person is. Suicides, you may have to go take photos of, you know, someone who's passed away. So for a CSO, some of that might trigger something. For a female officer, they handle things mentally a little bit different than men. men do you know we're mothers we're sisters we're aunts so i just think it's a different mental level than what the men deal with and go through so the officers you know men and women have to see a lot and deal with a lot

SPEAKER_02: 11:22

right and you've gone to special therapy to help you with your ptsd and we can talk about that too how that has affected you and hopefully give some resources out. Maybe we make available some resources that are available in Modesto specifically, but there's also nationwide resources that I would imagine most departments have access to.

SPEAKER_01: 11:47

Yes, and I think what helped me with my therapy And it's still, you know, ongoing. There are still things that trigger me. But it was important for me to find a therapist who understood law enforcement. who has dealt with law enforcement ptsd so i would suggest if someone is having ptsd or any problems to find someone who is law enforcement friendly and understands what we go through or

SPEAKER_02: 12:19

first responder yes friendly and it's a real thing and i think that's something that's important to me and it's become more obvious as we have started up this podcast is to I mean, the podcast isn't just about PTSD. Correct. That is something special for us, though, because both of us are going through it, and we don't want to lose another first responder because somebody sideswiped the PTSD thing. Suck it up. Get over it. No, that doesn't work. It is a real thing. You need to talk about it. It's poisonous if you keep it suppressed. There's ways to get through it, and if we can help with the resource... we will reach out and talk to people about it we're not counselors but we do listen and we will do research and find somebody who can help with that issue

SPEAKER_01: 13:10

yeah i mean just recently you know there was a female officer who committed suicide in modesto it was not in modesto

SPEAKER_00: 13:18

okay

SPEAKER_01: 13:18

but it's sad that she wasn't able to get the help that she needed and you know it's just like fire guys you know i know that there's been some suicides with that as well so yeah don't be afraid to ask for help

SPEAKER_00: 13:32

right

SPEAKER_01: 13:32

it doesn't lessen who you are or make you less of a woman or make you less of a man the resources are out there for a reason and just don't be afraid to ask for help

SPEAKER_02: 13:43

right okay i think we'll transition off of your intro part of it something i don't really like talking about is my intro part of it And I'll just start with my background where I started into the fire service and then we'll go forward and I I want to make sure everybody knows that the podcast isn't depressing. It's not just about PTSD. We're going to have some fun stories. We're going to have some investigative stories. We're going to dig into fires that maybe interest you guys these big wildfires, old historic fires. But at the same time, I think it's important that the PTSD part of it is explored and we can kind of go down that road as we get there.

SPEAKER_01: 14:29

Yeah, not only, you know, there's a huge crossover between fire, law enforcement, AMR staff. So it's a huge family and I don't think people realize how big it is. It is because we rely on you guys, you know, for a fire situation, you in return rely on us to do traffic control. And

SPEAKER_02: 14:51

donuts. We need to know where the good donuts are.

SPEAKER_01: 14:54

Okay. Well, there are donuts. Mr. T's is the best. And then, you know, we rely on AMR. just like you guys, you know, for a situation. And we

SPEAKER_02: 15:05

can't leave out the dispatchers who are an unknown in this equation because they have to sit behind a microphone with headphones on and listen to everything that's going on. The officer's getting shot, the firefighter down or missing.

SPEAKER_01: 15:19

And the PTSD that comes from that.

SPEAKER_02: 15:21

Exactly. So there's a plethora of people to talk to for sure. Okay. I'm just going to go over a couple of things that have brought me into the fire service. So I graduated from Modesto High School, Beyer High School, in 1985, and I went directly into the military. I went over to Germany for a couple years, and then I came stateside. While I was stateside, I had my own special weapons team, and we were deployed to fight the fires in Yellowstone. That was my very first feel for fire. It was incredible. We were out there for 28 days. And I'll say something, Nathan Kirkwood, I'm glad you showered every night when we got back and you didn't snore very much. We had pup tents. We were sleeping in two-man tents the entire time we were out there. The final three days we were there, there was six inches of snow on the ground.

SPEAKER_00: 16:18

We

SPEAKER_02: 16:18

were actually starting fires to stay warm until they shipped us back out of there. So... Yellowstone being a wildfire was my very first experience. When I got out of the military, I got into fire safety, doing fire extinguishers, hood systems, taking night classes at MJC, the community college. I volunteered in series at the series department of public safety. where I became a volunteer firefighter. Loved it. That was when we could ride on the back of fire engines going to calls. I specifically remember the call where we rode on the back on the tailboard. I was putting my turnouts on. It was a barn on fire. We got to the scene and when we were out there, the chief came and said, no more tailboard riding. It's been outlawed. We all crammed into the back of the chief's car. There was like five of us. in our turnout, stinking after a fire, and we rode back to the station that way. So I was one of the last guys for Ceres to ride on a tailboard. That whole time I was putting in for fire departments all in the area. It took a long time, but I ended up getting picked up by L'Amour as a crash rescue firefighter. I did that for a couple of years. Modesto ended up picking me up. I became a hazmat specialist, DMT, worked with Chuck Butler, And then I ended up going to investigations. 2003, well, actually 2002, I had a very interesting case in December of 2002, the Scott Peterson van that has recently hit the news. And that's going to become more exciting. And we'll probably talk about that a little bit. But that was my fire. And then in 2003, I left the fire department and went to the private side, I became a private fire investigator. I've been doing that since 2003. So 22 years now of an exact same job of doing every type of fire you can imagine. I love doing it. I love talking to people. I love the camaraderie of being able to go and talk to the firefighters who fought the fires, the stories that we still can share. And now as the guys I know are retiring out, It's getting harder because you don't have that same connection of 20 years of talking to somebody. And now, you know, they're gone and a new guy's coming in and it takes a little while to generate that friendship. But many, many, many stories, relationships. That's what I bring to the table with this is a lot of experience doing every type of fire investigation you can imagine. Big ones, small ones, ones with kids, ones that were murder. that were missed initially by the fire department and a more thorough investigation done by the private side kind of brings up more in-depth analysis and then the truth comes out. So there's been a couple of times where murder was discovered after the fire department called it an accidental fire. And we can talk about some of those as well. The depth of the word fire is amazing because so many people touch it. meaning just on the forensic side. And most people don't know that when we do an investigation, there's mechanical engineers involved, electrical engineers involved, structural engineers involved, fire investigators, fire scientists, chemists, metallurgists, all of these people can become part of an investigation that most of the public never knows about. Those guys aren't heroic, but they're an important part of the word fire or forensics. So I would like to put some light on them as well. When you talk about a forensic electrical engineer, you know, I've got a couple of people that I've worked with my entire career and I don't like working with anybody else because I know They're going to tell me the truth,

SPEAKER_00: 20:31

not

SPEAKER_02: 20:32

what I need to hear or what somebody wants them to say. These guys will come in and they'll say, look, this is exactly how this fire happened. And then we put it as part of the picture. So bringing them into this podcast is going to be incredibly exciting because although they're engineers, they're kind of geeky. Um, we're going to do our best to have a communication with them. And when they talk big words, I'll try to explain what those big words are because I've had discussions and Scott Buskey, you're the one I'm talking about. You throw out big words and equations and stuff. And an attorney will come to me after the conversation and go, what did he mean? What, what, what is he saying by that? And I'll have to kind of explain it back. It doesn't mean the attorneys are less knowledgeable. It's just I've worked with Scott forever. And so that will be a conversation. There are so many private guys that have retired that have set the picture for us. And you know, we kind of keep carrying that lantern. And now I'm getting to that point where I don't want to do it as much anymore. I don't want to get as dirty as I used to get and I can't, you know, for medical reasons, but I want to be able to hand down that torch as well. And it's really neat that it's a small community in our area in Northern California. There's less than 20 guys, I would guess that are doing everything from Bakersfield North. Most of them are pretty good guys.

SPEAKER_01: 22:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 22:03

So that's what this podcast is going to do. We're going to explore the word fire, we're going to talk about heroic actions that firefighters take. I think last time in the podcast with Chuck, I was saying firefighters aren't heroes because they run into buildings that are on fire as everybody's running out. They're heroes because the next day they get up and they do it again.

SPEAKER_00: 22:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 22:31

We watched a documentary last night that was about some firefighters in LA that got burned out pretty bad. And we're hopefully going to go into that, but those guys went back to work. Talk about PTSD. You know, that one event, how it changed their lives and forced a couple of them to medically retire out. And they're thankful that they lived, but they're in a different world now. And you can see it when they're telling their story. They're crying, you know, and that's the PTSD that I think people need to understand that just because a firefighter puts on his jacket and goes in and save somebody and then he's gone. It's not over for us. That's not when it ends. it doesn't really end i can still think of my first fatality the first little girl that didn't make it as she fell in the pond and her her dad he lost it the lady who died against the wall and left her shadow on the wall i can i can remember every single one of them and every one of those i carry a little bit of i don't know story i wouldn't call it a negative or a positive it's just weight so that's what we want to get into is the depth of the word fire, the meaning of the term firefighter, what that is, not just firefighter putting out fire, but firefighter human.

SPEAKER_01: 23:52

And not a fire inspector, a fire investigator. We will look at fire

SPEAKER_02: 23:57

investigators. There are fire inspectors, and they check typically occupancies, exit signs, fire extinguishers. So out here in California, we prefer... the term fire investigator, because I don't care about a fire extinguisher unless it didn't work. And then that's important. But hopefully this becomes a very interesting podcast and we will throw all kinds of topics out there that some people may like. Some people may not. Some people may want to listen to the difficulties of PTSD and some of the stories that give us PTSD and other people won't. But if you like it, keep listening to it. Give us likes, thumbs up. I don't even know how all that stuff works. Subscribe. And to be honest, I have never listened to a podcast before we started doing this. You and I set this up. We got this rolling with the help of Jason and Shereen.

SPEAKER_00: 24:55

Yes.

SPEAKER_02: 24:55

Who, if you guys go to our website, playingwithfire.net, you'll see the bios on us and you guys can understand that. The absolute professionals that are helping us put this together.

SPEAKER_00: 25:08

Yes.

SPEAKER_02: 25:08

And we could not do this without them.

SPEAKER_00: 25:10

Yes.

SPEAKER_02: 25:11

I have seriously enjoyed sitting and talking with you. Has anybody told you you got really beautiful eyes? Stop it. I really... Let's talk. All right. We're out of here. We're done. Thank you. Have a great day and we'll see you next time.

SPEAKER_01: 25:26

Bye. Have a good day.